Percy Jackson and the Half-Blood Fool
by savantgarde
Summary: Set between the Battle of the Labyrinth and The Last Olympian. Percy Jackson goes on a mission with my OC, Andrew Denison.
1. A Funny Thing Happened

PERCY

It started out as a normal spring day. School had just gotten out for the weekend. Normally I'd get a ride home with Paul, but today he had detention duty. Rachel had kindly offered to give me a lift in one of her dad's limos. We were halfway to the parking lot when she stopped suddenly.

"Percy…" Rachel half whispered, grabbing my arm. "I don't know if you can see them, but there are some of those giants over there."

"You mean Laistrygonians?" I asked as I followed her gaze. At first I couldn't see anything. But after focusing I managed to spot them through the mist. There were three of them, each about twelve feet tall and heavily armed. They appeared to be deep in conversation with each other. As usual, the mortals around them didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. One man in a business suit was talking on his cell phone, standing dangerously close to the blade of one giant's battle axe.

"Stay here," I told Rachel, "I'll take care of them" I figured they were probably looking for me, like most of the monsters I meet. I slowly walked over to the giants, weaving my way through the mortal pedestrians. I pulled out Riptide, but didn't unsheathe it yet. I figured it would be better to maintain the element of surprise. Suddenly, all three of them looked up and sniffed the air.

"Something smells fishy" one said.

"You don't think it's that son of Poseidon, do you?" another asked.

"I don't know," The first responded. "But just to be safe, let's continue this discussion back at camp. With that the three turned away and started jogging south. I began to pursue them when I heard Rachel shouting.

"Look out he has a sword!" I was about to ask what she was talking about when I was sent sprawling. I looked up to see the man who had been talking on his phone smiling down at me. He had deliberately tripped me.

"Sorry Percy," He said. "But I couldn't let you take out my marks."

"What…" I asked as Rachel ran over to help me up. "How do you know my name? Who are you?" The man looked puzzled for a moment, then smiled and slapped his forehead.

"Oh sorry, I sometimes forget I'm wearing it." Suddenly he transformed from a tall man in a business suit to a teenage boy in a mask, maybe a little older than me. He was about my height, with dirty blonde hair. He was wearing a backpack and a camp necklace with two big claws on it. The cell phone had turned into a saber with what looked like a smiley face on the hilt.


	2. Introductions

ANDREW

"We've never properly met, I'm Andrew Denison, son of comedy." I said. Percy was silent for a moment, clearly trying to figure me out.

"Wait," he said as some understanding came over him. "I've seen you around camp. You're in Hermes cabin, right?"

"Yep, seeing as there's no cabin for Thalia or the other muses." I replied.

"Are the muses even gods?" Percy asked.

"Of course they are!" The red head said, seeing my hurt expression. "They are daughters of Zeus and the Titaness Mnemosyne." I instantly decided I liked this girl. "So why couldn't he see you?" She asked, turning to me.

"You mean you saw me, as opposed to…a guy in a suit." she nodded. I pondered this for a moment.

Then it hit me, "You're that clear sighted girl, Rachel, right"?

"That's right,"

"Well my mask generates mist that I can use to alter my appearance. But since you can see through mist it can't fool you."

"Um, want to tell me what you meant when you called those giants your marks" Percy interrupted, apparently unhappy that he wasn't the center of attention like a hero should be.

"I was tracking them," I explained "With the help of my fool's gift" I paused to enjoy the clueless look on Percy's face. "I'll tell you later, anyway I don't give off a scent like other half-bloods. This makes me perfect for infiltration. They are working with one of Kronos's biggest suppliers. I figure I'd follow them to their base of operation and wreck the place."

"Well, it looks like you may be out of luck," Percy said, "those giants got away while we were talking." I looked around and saw that he was right.

"Ah shoot. Well, not to worry, Aqualad" I assured him. "I placed a tracker on the one with the axe."

"Really," Rachel asked, clearly impressed.

"Aqualad?" Percy asked, clearly annoyed.

I pulled the receiver out and showed her. "yeah, my girlfriend Michelle in Hephaestus cabin cooked it up. She insisted I take them on a test run. Although I suspect she just doesn't have much faith in my scouting skills. Rightfully so, it would seem." I turned the device on and looked at it. "Unfortunately, it looks like they already got out of the city." I frowned. "In fact, they're out of the state. They crossed over into enemy territory for you New Yorkers… New Jersey. Who would have thought those lumbering oafs could move that fast."

"They probably used a portal," Percy suggested. "Luke did that once."

"We could give you a ride." Rachel chimed in.

"What?" Percy and I said in unison.

"Well, it's the least we can do," Rachel reasoned. "Seeing as we're the reason they got away. Besides, I'm not too eager to get home right now." I didn't press her on that last bit. I've always felt a good comedian knows when to avoid sensitive topics. I had to admit the thought of traveling by limo was much more appealing than a pegasus. I never could get the hang of riding them. They go too fast for me.

Obviously, Percy wasn't thrilled with the suggestion. "I don't think it would be a good idea for you to go near a monster stronghold." he pointed out. I could understand his hesitation. With Kronos's forces on the move, it had been a busy year for all the campers. I imagine he really appreciated the days when he could just be a normal kid.

"actually she'd be fine," I corrected "As a mortal, she wouldn't be very interesting to the monsters. And as I said, I don't typically draw attention. She could actually help me get the job done faster. You, on the other hand, are a child of the big three. You'd be toast as soon as you walked in."

"Oh yeah," Percy challenged, "let's go"

"Great," Rachel beamed, "the limo's this way." I smirked as we walked, I'd always wanted a chance to see the great Percy Jackson in action. Now reverse psychology has given me the opportunity.


	3. I'm not enjoying this mission

PERCY

The ride took a little over an hour. Every now and then Andrew would check his receiver to make sure we were still going the right way. During that time he and Rachel really hit it off. I guess since they're both artists they had a lot to talk about. Rachel was especially interested in this fool's gift he had mentioned. I don't know why, but I was starting to feel kind of jealous.

"Basically, my mom made me the living embodiment of the fool archetype. That includes every court jester, goofy sidekick, and lovable oaf. Therefore I have all the freedom of the fool." He explained. "I'm one of the few people to have complete freedom of speech. I can insult anyone, even the gods, and they'll just laugh it off. Plus, some people and monsters think I'm so unimportant that they often don't even notice me. There have been times that enemies have run right past me to get at some other demigods."

"That doesn't sound like a great gift," Rachel commented.

"Actually it's kind of a relief," he said. "I let Superman do all the heavy lifting, while I, in my Jimmy Olsen capacity, take care of the rest. I'm part of a proud yet underappreciated archetype in fiction."

"You do realize that you aren't actually a fictional character right." I asked. I was seriously starting to suspect this guy was a little nuts. Something about his smile made me think he'd be right at home terrorizing Gotham.

"To quote a son of Apollo, all the world's a stage." He shrugged. Suddenly his device started beeping. Andrew hit a button to silence it and examined the screen for a moment. "Well, they've stopped moving, so we should be right by their base."

Sure enough we were right at the edge of an old pier. The entrance was marked by a sign with a picture of a shark fin rising out of the water. Judging by how Andrew's mouth dropped as we got out of the limo, I don't think he was expecting the place to be so big. Admittedly, neither did I. There were warehouses all around. It looked like there were enough to make up a small town. Somewhere nearby, I could here the barks and snarls of several hellhounds.

As she got out of the car, Rachel turned to the driver and told him she'd call when we were done. He didn't even ask what we were planning to do, just nodded and drove off. Apparently he's used to her running strange errands.

"Guess it's a good thing we came along." I commented. "Looks like you'll need a few extra hands to get this done."

"Yep," Andrew said. He shrugged off his pack and started pulling out bronze disks with several buttons on them. "These are remote activated charges" he explained, suddenly serious. "Each one will have a blast radius of about seventy-five yards, so be sure to spread them out. Putting one on every third building should be sufficient."

"Another of your girlfriend's inventions," Rachel guessed.

"Yeah, she builds a bunch of gadgets for me, but explosives are sort of a specialty of hers." Andrew confirmed. "Although this is the first time she made them on purpose." he smirked at this, probably some inside joke.

"Okay, so Rachel and I will go one way while you go the other, and we'll meet in the middle." I said, taking charge.

"Actually, Rachel will go on her own." Andrew said sheepishly. He rightfully assumed that I wouldn't like the idea. Before I could protest he added, "It's important that we maintain stealth for as long as possible. I wasn't joking when I said she would be harder to detect than you. If you're going to stay here, you'll have to stay close to me. My ability to hide my scent should mostly cover yours too. Otherwise those hellhounds will sound the alarm."

He turned his attention to Rachel, handing her a bag with half of the charges. "But remember, while they don't always smell mortals, you're not invisible to them. If they see you planting bombs, they will come after you, so be careful."

She nodded and took the bag. Andrew quickly told her how to set the bombs. Then she turned to me. "Relax, I'll be fine." She said, giving me a quick hug. With that she turned and ran around the corner of the nearest warehouse.

Now it was just me and the fool. "Let's get started," I said, walking the opposite direction of Rachel. I had a bad feeling that this mission was not going to be easy.


	4. I get to show off

ANDREW

The next ten minutes or so went by without a hitch. I set up the charges while Percy kept an eye out for any monsters.

"So how did you know about this place anyway?" He asked as we walked to the next target building.

"The usual method." I replied. "I fell asleep in algebra class the other day and had a dream about those giants you saw before, talking about their boss's shipment. I got a strong vibe from the vision so I booked a plane to New York as soon as I got home. A visit to the Big House attic confirmed that I had to deal with it"

"You mean you got a prophecy?" This stopped Percy in his tracks. Understandably he didn't see me as the type to go on big quests.

I smirked, "Hey, just because I'm not a child of the big three doesn't mean I can't have any adventures."

"yeah, but what about all that stuff you said about being the fool and letting other heroes do the work?"

"Every now and then the fool can save the day," I shrugged, fingering the claws that I had taken from the crocutta. "I'm hardly helpless as a demigod. Being nearly undetectable makes the fool a wildcard. I'm the opponent that the enemy never considers. Not to mention that as a child of a muse, I excel in all forms of art, not just comedy. Some of these have proven to be very helpful. My sword skills are enhanced by Terpsichore, goddess of dance. And my ability to spin a yarn have gotten me out of literally hundreds of tough spots."

"Sorry," Percy said, looking down at his feet. After a moment of awkward silence he asked, "So what was the prophecy?"

"Curious fellow, aren't you." I smirked

"You shall follow your prey down to the shore.

You will seek and destroy the titan's store.

A child of the depths shall aid in your plight.

The sea dwelling son shall seek to requite

You'll gain an ally with a fiery mane.

And succeed by using the Thespian's bane."

"So I was supposed to come with you." Percy said as I finished reciting what the oracle said.

"To be honest, I was expecting Nico Di Angelo. After all, what's deeper than the underworld? Plus it would make sense, seeing as how this is almost exactly what his dad did in the first Titan war." I replied

"What?"

"Hades used his Helm of Darkness to sneak into the enemy's camp and destroy their supplies the night before the battle." I explained. "Of course I'm sure Zeus would rather everyone thought it was all him with his lightning." I rolled my eyes.

"Well the first part is easy enough to figure out." Percy noted. "what about the sea dwelling son being re-quieted?" He asked. "Requite-" I corrected. "it means to make even or amend. You have any grudges?" Percy shook his head. "Just checking. Then the part about the thespian's bane sounds ominous. But I doubt it's really what it sounds like. Prophecies rarely are, as I'm sure you know."

"and the ally with the fiery mane-"

"It's not Rachel," I cut in. Percy looked at me, confused. "I just have a feeling that she isn't the ally in question. Plus, while she is a red head, but I would hardly call her hair 'fiery'."

"Well, it kind of…" Percy started. He was struggling to find the right words to explain.

I rolled my eyes at him, "You know, I've always hated that triangle trope. It's pointless because the ending is always so obvious to everyone, except the affected parties of course." Once again he just stared at me, confused. Some boys can be so clueless. Am I right ladies? "Anyways, there's no point pondering over it. The prophecy will work itself out in the end."

We were about to keep moving when a Laistrygonian stomped out of the warehouse in front of us. It was the same guy that I'd planted my tracker on. Before Percy and I could take cover, the tracker's receiver started beeping obnoxiously. I thought I had turned it off. Apparently I had just hit the snooze button before. I made a mental note to pay more attention to the instruction manual next time. The giant turned towards us and grinned wickedly.

"looks like we got some trespassers." He gloated, pulling out his axe. Percy began to reach for Riptide, but I beat him to the draw. In a flash, I had Punchline out and ran at the monster. He just barely had time to block my first strike with the shaft of his axe. With him guarding his body, I followed up with several slashes to his legs. The cuts were shallow, but they served the purpose of aggravating him. The Giant lifted his axe high with the intention of cleaving my head in two. At that point I drove my blade into his chest. He had just enough time to realize his mistake and squeak "oops" before turning to dust.

I walked back to Percy, who was looking at me with awe. His hand was still halfway toward his pocket.

"It's like I said," I shrugged with a big grin, "I am quite capable as a demigod."


	5. A new friend and a new set of problems

PERCY

Okay, I'll be the first to admit that I misjudged this guy. I started to say as much when he cut me off.

"Everyone does at first." he explained. "It's all part of the fool's package. Now let's finish up before more troops come around." We hurried over to the next building. As Andrew was setting the charge I heard voices coming from inside.

_I smell half-bloods_, one voice said. Then the others started shouting. _help! Get us out of here!_ I then realized that those weren't voices, but thoughts. There must be horses in there. The warehouse had two large doors held together with a padlock. Without thinking, I unsheathed Riptide and slashed at the lock. It came apart and the doors burst open. At least three dozen Hippalectryons came storming out.

"Thanks for the heads up," Andrew scowled at me.

"Sorry," I said. I heard them calling for help and-" "It's okay," He cut in, petting one Hippalectryon's head. "I certainly wouldn't want the deaths of an endangered species on my conscience. You just caught me by surprise." We watched as most of the animals spread their wings and took flight over the water. "Huh, I wouldn't have thought they'd be able to fly, being part rooster." Andrew commented.

"well they are magical animals," I suggested. "I guess those rules don't apply."

_Course not_, the hippalectryon Andrew was petting butt in. It was nuzzling up against his shoulder.

"I think he likes you," I teased. The horse part was a light brown with a bright red mane. The feathers on its hind quarters were a golden yellow.

"Why wouldn't he?" Andrew shot back, smiling. "These guys don't feature in any myths. If it weren't for a few references in my ancient brother Aristophanes's plays, these guys would have faded from memory."

"Really?" I asked the horse."

_Yep_, he replied. _We owe our survival to the children of comedy_.

"Looks like you've found your ally with a fiery mane," I said, remembering the prophecy.

Andrew looked ecstatic, "Awesome, I've never had a pet before. Dad has allergies. Let's see…fiery mane…How does Fireball sound for a name?"

_I like it_, The hippalectryon told me. Then I relayed his answer back to Andrew.

Suddenly we heard heavy footsteps approaching. No doubt somebody noticed the jailbreak. I raised Riptide, but Andrew stopped me.

"A big fight could alert the whole place to our presence," he said putting on his mask. "It will be easier if I lead them to think the horses just got out on their own." he turned to Fireball. "You better get out of here. Find somewhere to lay low and we'll meet up later."

_You got it boss!_, the hippalectryon said as he took off. When I turned back to Andrew I was surprised to see he had taken the form of the giant he'd just killed.

"Trust me," he said, noticing my inquisitive expression. "It's a lot better to impersonate somebody you know is dead. It's less complicated. Just hide nearby and be ready in case things go south."

I nodded and took position right behind the warehouse door. As soon as I was out of sight two monsters ran up to Andrew. One was a Laistrygonian, one of the other two I had seen before. The second was about a head shorter. Or at least he would be if he had a head. The thing had long, ape-like arms. The most disturbing feature was its face was on its chest.

"What in Hades happened?" the giant asked angrily.

"It looks like the lock snapped," Andrew replied in an equally annoyed tone. "I guess one of those beasts rammed the door and busted it open."

"Blast it!" the headless thing yelled. "Those were the last that we had. There's no way we can get more with the ranch under new management."

"Maybe we can round them up." Andrew said hopefully. "I think I saw a few run off toward town"

The giant shook his head, "We've got bigger problems. Some kid has been sneaking around."

"What?" Andrew's illusion flickered for a split second but he managed stay in character. Luckily the monsters didn't notice.

"Just a mortal, but we can't be too careful. We got her locked up in the boss's office," he pointed toward the front of the pier, "until he decides what to do."

The headless thing started licking his lips, which were located where its belly button should be. "If we're lucky he'll say we can eat her. Redheads always have a touch of spice." I unintentionally jumped at this statement. Sadly it was just enough movement for the giant to notice.

"Hey!" he said right before Andrew, abandoning his disguise, stabbed him in the chest. He then turned and stabbed the headless thing in the same way. Unfortunately there was no effect. Apparently his heart was located somewhere else. Even worse, the creature batted him aside with one swipe of its massive arm before he could pull his sword free.

At this point I came running at him. I slashed out with Riptide, catching the creature's side and cutting across the mouth. This did the trick and Punchline fell to the ground as the monster turned to dust. I picked it up and went over to Andrew, who had landed about ten feet away.

"You okay?" I asked as I handed him his weapon.

"Yeah," he replied, rubbing his neck. "I managed to not land on my head at least."

"Sorry I ruined your performance," I said guiltily. "it was pretty convincing."

"Don't worry about it," Andrew assured me. "I was just about to drop the act anyway. That headless jerk was asking for it."

"What was that thing anyway?"

"Mr. No Head? He was a Blemmya. Nasty things, although they're usually further south than this. Originally they were in Africa. In fact, Shakespeare references them-" "Okay, let's get back on track." I interrupted.

"Sorry," he grimaced as he got to his feet. "So what should we do now?"

"You're asking me?"

"Rachel's your friend." Andrew explained. "I figure the rescue plan should be yours too."

I thought for a moment. "How many more charges do we need to set up?"

Andrew looked around before answering. "Probably just another three, assuming Rachel got all of hers in place. Why?"

"I'll take care of those. Meanwhile, you can go help Rachel."

He smiled as he got the general idea of my strategy. "Perfect, without me masking your scent you can provide a diversion, making it even easier for me to get her out."

"That's the idea." I nodded, "now show me how to set these bombs"


	6. Rachel and I put on a show

ANDREW

As soon as I got away from Percy, the hellhounds started barking and howling like crazy. I increased my pace, knowing he could only hold off the enemy for so long. Remembering where the giant had pointed, I ran back to the place where we first arrived. Sure enough, just to the right of the sign with a shark fin on it was what appeared to be the boss's office. It was just a trailer, but it had the same motif as the pier entrance. I snuck over to the window and peaked inside. Rachel had been locked in a cage which, judging from the hay on the floor, had previously been occupied. Guarding her were two blemmyae, each armed with a crossbow. I once again took on the form of the Laistrygonian giant. Then I walked inside. Rachel, seeing through my disguise, looked surprised. A quick look from me told her to play along.

"What have we got here?" I asked, eyeing Rachel.

"Found her sticking things to the warehouses." the larger blemmya said. "This guy said we should wait for the boss before we eat her." "He gets first say on all matters," the second guy snapped. "We don't do anything without his say-so."

"Man! You are such a kiss up!" I taunted him.

"Yeah I know!" his buddy joined in. "You really think you could ever be his right hand, Larry?"

"Shut up Moe!" the smaller, brown-nosing blemmya shot back.

"Well anyway, I came to take over guard duty." I said.

"really?" Larry asked. "We've only been here for five minutes."

"Please," Rachel interrupted, saving me the trouble of explaining myself. "My dad's rich, he'll pay you whatever you want if you let me go." this got a laugh from the blemmyae, which I immediately joined in.

"Sorry sweetie." Moe said. "But no mortal could be as wealthy as our boss. He's a king, and a real shark on Wall Street."

Both monsters snickered at that, which told me it was a clue. Add that line from the prophecy about the sea dwelling son and I had a pretty good idea who we were dealing with. Meanwhile, Rachel kept begging and began sobbing. It was quite a performance. If I didn't know better, I wound have thought she was a regular damsel in distress. At this point, both blemmyae were too busy teasing her to notice me. I ended the illusion and drew Punchline. Following Percy's example, this time I aimed lower. Both of them were dust before they knew what hit them. The keys to the cage clattered to floor after I stabbed Larry.

"Thanks for the save," I said as I let Rachel out of the cage. "My improvisation skills can only go so far."

"Anytime," She smiled. "So any clue who this boss is." I was about to give her my new theory when there was a sudden clatter of hooves right outside. We turned to see Fireball shaking his head and whinnying anxiously. "What is that?" Rachel asked.

"Where are my manners?" I joked. "Rachel meet Fireball. Fireball, Rachel. He's my new pet hippalectryon."

"What's got him so upset?"

"I'm guessing either Timmy's at the bottom of a well, or Percy is in need of back up." I turned back to Fireball. "It's the latter, isn't it?" He eagerly bobbed his head. "I don't speak horse like Percy, but I'll take that as a yes."

"Well let's go then!" Rachel said.

"Sure thing, but you better grab one of those crossbows. I'd feel better knowing that you had some protection." While she did that I hesitantly climbed up on Fireball's back. Like I said, I've never been good with pegasi, and Fireball did bear a resemblance to them. Rachel then climbed on behind me. "Okay boy, lead the way." With that, we took flight.


	7. I meet the Boss

PERCY

My plan worked better than I'd expected. I had just set up the last charge when the monsters were on me. First came three huge hellhounds that had broken out of their enclosure to get at the intruder, me. I stabbed at one with Riptide then slashed sideways to take out the others. They were quickly followed by the rest of the pack. Each one had a giant or blemmya gripping its leash. The hounds were set loose as the other monsters grabbed their weapons.

Despite being severely outnumbered, I was able to hold them off. I hacked and slashed in all directions, taking out any enemy within range. It helped that the sea was so close by. I was able draw strength from it. However, I could only keep that up for so long.

Just as fatigue was starting to set in, a voice cried out "Enough!" A giant stopped halfway through raising his sword, and quickly backed away. The mass of monsters parted like the red sea to let in the one that shouted. At first glance it looked like a shark with legs. The monster had gray skin and his big mouth was full of nasty looking teeth. A long fin came out of his head, with a couple smaller ones along his back. His hands were webbed, and each finger ended in a talon. He was maybe seven feet tall, dressed in a shiny blue business suit. At his hip he wore a sword. Clearly this was Kronos's supplier.

"Percy Jackson," he sneered. The shark man's voice was hoarse, like he had barked a lot of orders. "I do love it when family stops by." In a flash his sword was drawn and he was sprinting at me. I barely managed to dodge at the last possible second. He quickly brought his sword around in a wide arc. I parried with Riptide and then stabbed at him. He deflected my thrust and kicked me square in the chest. I went flying and landed on my back with a thud. Riptide went sailing over the pier. Before I could get up the beast was on me, his sword at my throat.

"How pathetic," He mocked. "Now you shall die by my hand."

"So for the record, who are you?" I asked. This seemed to annoy him. Most monsters love to brag about themselves. Apparently he felt he needed no introduction. He raised his sword for the killing blow, then cried out in pain. An arrow had appeared in his wrist. I took advantage of the situation and rolled out from under him. Fireball landed in front of me carrying Andrew and Rachel, who was holding an unloaded crossbow.

"Nice shot," I complimented.

"Actually I was aiming for his head." She said, sheepishly.

Despite the dangerous circumstances, this got me and Andrew laughing. "Well, you're still a better shot than me."

"Ditto," Andrew added. "you'd think Apollo would help me out, given how close he is with the muses, but no.

"Is this your idea of reinforcements?" the monster asked, removing the arrow with one quick yank. "A mortal, a cock-horse, and the son of a muse?" He sneered as he said the last part.

This got Andrew riled up. "Okay I am really sick of people badmouthing my mother. Let's talk about yours. Yo' mama is so ugly, before she can look in a mirror she's got to take out her eyes!" The shark man snarled at that.

"You wanna fill me in?" I asked him. "Who is this guy?"

"Akheilos, son of Zeus and Lamia." the monster answered, sneering. "Honestly Uncle, you should know more about your father's side of the family."

"Uncle?" I was really starting to get tired of all these monster relatives.

"Yeah," Andrew said sheepishly, "His mom was Poseidon's daughter. By the way, he's never said anything about um, avenging her has he?"

Before I could tell him no, Akheilos cried out "You!" Next to me Andrew made a comical gulping sound. "I had heard how my mother and her husband died at the hands of two demigod girls and some lackey."

"Lackey?!" Andrew shouted, then he quickly changed his tone. "Actually I guess that's kind of accurate. I mean to be fair I didn't do much. Mostly I just got sat on by your step-dad." he gave nervous chuckle. "By the way I thought your mom killed all her kids. How'd you survive?"

"She only killed the ones she had as a human. I came later."

"You mean Zeus actually went back to her when she was a snake monster? Blecch!" Andrew said, making a face.

"Wait," I butt in. "So how did a snake lady give birth to a shark?"

"I was born human" Akheilos scowled. "Until Aphrodite cursed me for being too good looking. But on the bright side, I was still rich as heir to the Libyan throne. And being a shark has been quite helpful in the business world." "Yeah, I heard that joke already," Andrew said, dropping his scaredy-cat act and drawing his sword. "Get some new material."

"Okay how's this? Two demigods walk into a titan stronghold, and then die" In an instant, Akheilos was on us. I guess he was finally tired of talking about himself. He had switched his sword to his other hand, but that didn't seem slow him down at all. Rachel had already retreated to a safe distance with Fireball. So I had one less thing to worry about. Andrew deflected the first stroke. Then I slashed at Akheilos's sword arm, but he parried that. This continued for several minutes. I was pretty much running on fumes at this point. Akheilos was so fast and relentless that I couldn't focus on him and maintain my link to the sea. Andrew must have noticed this because as he blocked the next blow he proceeded to shove me over the pier, and into the water.

Almost instantly I was back to full strength. I propelled myself back to the surface, to find Andrew still struggling on his own. It looked like he was trying to get something in his pack. Unfortunately he couldn't reach it while Akheilos was raining blows down on him. I summoned up a fist of sea water and launched it at the giant. He took it right in stomach. The force sent him to his knees. This gave Andrew the chance to extract what looked like a ring from his pack. He slipped it on and struck Akheilos with the palm of his hand. Akheilos was sent flying as a jolt of electricity ran through his body.

"Weaponized joy-buzzer," he told me as I got back on the pier. "My Michelle really knows my style." He turned to Akheilos and laughed, "You might as well face it, you're outmatched."

Akheilos smiled as he got up. "don't be so sure," he sneered. "You haven't met my head of security. Suddenly the water behind us began to churn as a massive head rose out. The head was like a catfish, with a bunch of whiskers, growing out of its nose. It looked big enough to swallow a car in one bite. It was followed by a body serpentine body covered in plates and ending in a lobster-like tail. Overall, the monster must have been over one hundred feet long.

"So you have a sea serpent," Andrew jeered. "We'll just stay away from the water."

"Um, that won't work," I said. All along the creature's body were legs. I wouldn't have thought they could even support the massive thing, but as I watched it climbed onto the pier. The monster let out a great roar.

"Well," Andrew said, a hint of fear now evident in his voice. "To quote the great Homer, d'oh!"


	8. We need a bigger boat

ANDREW

"What is that?" Percy shouted over the monster's cries.

"Uh, let's see," I quickly ran through my mental monster encyclopedia. "Whiskers, lots of legs, lobster tail, gigantic size…That would be the skolopendra.

"So how do we beat it?"

"You don't," I said sadly, "This thing is one of the biggest, baddest monsters in the ocean. Sailors see it and they turn their ships around as fast as possible."

"Well that's not really an option."

"Exactly," Akheilos cried out, smugly. All of his employees had run away as soon as the monster arrived. "That is an unstoppable force of destruction. You cannot win. You're going to die and-" He was interrupted as Fireball rammed into him. His head smacked against the warehouse behind him and he slid to the ground, dazed. We then turned our attention to the giant crustacean.

I grabbed a couple of Greek firebombs from my pack and threw them as high as I could. Usually that would be enough to take down a monster. But when these ignited against the serpent's underside, it didn't even seem to notice. It's plates were just too tough.

"Okay, new strategy," I muttered. I whistled, and Fireball trotted over to me. I climbed on and we took to the sky. By then all my misgivings about riding him had disappeared. I can't really explain it, but I just felt comfortable on him. Like I said, Pegasi are too fast. They just fly into battle without any pizzazz. Fireball was more patient. He gradually built up speed as we ascended, circling the monster, occasionally letting out a proud whinny and stretching his wings. He was a natural showman, just like me.

I pulled out the rest of my firebombs once we were right over the monster's head. Aiming for the eyes and open mouth, I dropped them one by one. None of them reached their targets. They all became tangled in the whiskers around the skolopendra's nose. However, this still had more of an effect, in that the monster was now really annoyed with me. It reared up on its many hind legs so it could reach me. It probably would have swallowed me and Fireball if Percy hadn't slammed into it with all the force of the ocean.

For a second I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Percy had created a crude giant out of sea water. It was basically just a blob with two massive arms, but it did the trick. In the center of the watery warrior was Percy. Judging by the pained look on his face, he wouldn't be able to maintain this structure for long. Percy wrapped the giant's hands around the serpent and forced it back into the water. The structure collapsed as soon as the creature was submerged. I grabbed Percy on his way down and hauled him across Fireball' s flank. We quickly landed and I check his vitals. Percy gave a low moan, that water trick had taken a lot out of him. I had a feeling he would not be trying it again any time soon. I pulled out some ambrosia and stuck in his mouth. He had just enough energy to chew and swallow.

"Is he okay?" Rachel asked, running over to us.

"Yeah," I assured her, "He just needs a minute to get his strength back." Unfortunately we didn't have a minute. The skolopendra had reemerged and now it looked really mad.

I pulled Percy off Fireball and was about to climb back on when Rachel grabbed my arm. "The Thespian's bane!" she gasped.

"What…How.." I stammered. "How do you know my prophecy?"

Rachel shrugged, "the words just came to me. I think I know what you have to do."

"Ah no! I have to die, don't I?" As much as the idea scared me, I couldn't help but think it would make a great story.

"Not necessarily,"

"Um, is your definition of bane different from mine?" Now I was totally confused.

"No, just my definition of thespian." Rachel said. She was looking at me expectantly, like a teacher who called me out in class. I took a moment to wrap my head around what she was talking about, running through all the stories I had read about the Greeks.

Then a light bulb went off. "Oh, OH!" My mind was working on overdrive. "yeah that could work. I like that plan. Okay first off, how fast can you run?"

This puzzled Rachel, "Um I don't know, pretty fast I guess."

"Good," I said. "then start running for the exit."

"What about Percy?" She asked. Aqualad was still woozy from round one with the monster. I looked to Fireball, and he bobbed his head. I knew he understood what to do.

"We've got it covered." I said simply. "Now get going." Rachel didn't look too sure, but she turned and started sprinting for the entrance to the pier. Percy was now getting shakily to his feet.

"What's our plan?" he asked reaching for Riptide.

"Well your plan is to follow Rachel." I said.

"What? You can't fight that thing alone!" I had expected him to argue. I had heard about his strong sense of loyalty. I nodded to Fireball, who immediately extended his wings. As he took off he grabbed hold of Percy's shoulders with his rooster claws. Percy was caught off guard and didn't even have a chance to resist.

Knowing the others were safe, I put on my mask and focused. The mask stretched over my body, turning into something I hoped would be useful. Now all I had to do was get the skolopendra's attention. It might be a little difficult with my fool's gift, but not impossible

"Hey, ugly!" I shouted. The creature's head, still burning with Greek fire, instantly swiveled towards me. "You think you're so tough? You're nothing but an overgrown jumbo shrimp! Yeah, that's right! I just called you an oxymoron, you moron!" I'm not sure how much it actually understood of what I had just said, but it got the general idea. It lunged forward. I braced myself for what came next. I would have to time my movements just right "Please let me get out of this alive." I prayed to any god that was listening. I had just enough time to think this might be a bad idea before the skolopendra swallowed me whole.


	9. Mission accomplished

PERCY

"NO!" I shouted as Rachel tried to hold me back. All we could do was watch from just outside the pier. Nearby someone was laughing. I looked up and saw Akheilos walking towards us, sneering.

"So much for his last stand." He jeered. "He may not have been the one that killed my mother, but I'll take it." The skolopendra let out a roar of triumph. But it was cut off as the monster started gagging. Akheilos's smile began to falter. It disappeared completely as the serpent's belly burst open in a fiery explosion.

_He still had the detonator_, I thought. One by one the warehouses began to explode, starting closest to the fallen monster. Akheilos was so shocked he didn't even try to move as the warehouse next to him blew.

As the smoke cleared, we could see that the mission was a success. No building was left standing. "Every now and then the fool saves the day," I muttered. I had only known him a few hours, but I had liked him.

"Too bad he won't save you," A voice cried out. Akheilos emerged from the rubble. His fin had broken off, his suit was reduced to charred rags, and many of his teeth had broken off. Yet somehow he was alive. By now I was so sick of this guy. Without thinking I charged at him with Riptide. Despite his injuries, the monster still matched me blow for blow, but I could tell he was tiring. "You think this changes anything?" He was half-crazed. "This is just a setback. Kronos will destroy you. Then he will crush Olympus. To think this helped you win the war is a fairy tale!"

"Good thing I'm a great story teller," came a familiar voice from behind him. Akheilos whirled around, dumbstruck. I took advantage of his distraction and stabbed him in the back.

"Say hello to your mom for me," Andrew taunted as he disintegrated. Once the shark was gone I saw Andrew standing in front of me. He was dressed in Greek armor that was covered with spikes. Each of the arm bracers had wicked hooks on them.

"Nice suit," Rachel said. She didn't seem the least bit surprised he was still alive.

"You can see it?" I asked. I assumed the armor was another product of his mask. "But I thought-"

"She can see through my illusions." Andrew explained. "But this is a fully functioning construct. They're harder to whip up and maintain, but they come in quite handy." As he was talking the armor started melting away and his mask reappeared on his face.

"Where'd you come up with that?"

"Thespia," he replied. Then I remembered the last line of the prophecy. "That's right." he said, seeing my look of understanding. "There was once a drakon that terrorized the city in ancient times. It was only defeated when the hero, Menostratus, sacrificed himself to it while wearing spiked armor. I simply modified the plan. The skolopendra was too large to simply choke on me. So I latched onto its throat on the way down, then dropped the last charges I had into its gullet."

"Nice work," I said, patting him on the back. It was all I could think to say. I had never heard a crazier, more brilliant plan. There's no way it should have worked, but it did. Fireball started nuzzling him, delighted that his new friend had survived.

We took a moment to appreciate what we just accomplished. Then Rachel broke the silence by asking, "So shall I call the limo?"

"you guys go ahead." Andrew said, mounting Fireball. "I'd better get this big fella settled at camp. Then it's back to Chicago, I've got a paper due Monday and haven't even gotten started." With that he took off.

"Well," Rachel said later as we rode back to New York. "That was an interesting afternoon." I was about to apologize for getting her into all this. Then I saw her expression, and knew that she was happy she came along.

"I have a feeling that's part of what Andrew does." I said. "The fool provides entertainment. So you're never bored when he's around."


End file.
